Useful not true
In the book “Useful not true” Derek invites us to notice that there are very few things that are 100% real. The past is not real - our memories of it are imprecise and rewritten for convenience. Our thoughts are not real - we invent them to justify what we are feeling or have already decided or done. Everything created by man is arbitrary (government, business, family, friends, partner, and a long etcetera). But -and here lies the simple beauty of this philosophy- we can choose what is useful even if it is not true. Noticing that these rules and conventions are arbitrary gives us the power to avoid, alter, or modify them.
These rules and conventions are like a costume we wear to be accepted in fear of looking odd - but in reality, no one is looking at us. It’s like the story of “The Emperor’s New Clothes” but completely the opposite - no one is really paying attention and worried about the disguise you wear. And if all clothing is arbitrary and a disguise, what does it matter to try on another costume, flamboyant and colorful, if it serves a better purpose?
We are prisoners of customs and the stories we tell ourselves. For example, I thought I couldn’t solve the Rubik’s cube because I had tried a few times without success - so I didn’t even bother to find out what I needed to solve it. I closed myself off in a false certainty until by chance someone burst that bubble with a “it’s a mechanical skill, anyone can learn it.” And indeed, once I knew I could, I learned how. I couldn’t before, as I had denied myself that possibility due to a rule I invented for myself.
Doubting your certainties and the rules that surround you, allows you to rethink what you want and can achieve.
The world is as negotiable as a flea market in Marrakesh. Only a fool doesn’t haggle.
Every statement everyone says could be prefaced with a disclaimer: “From my limited point of view, based only on what I’ve experienced…”
You can do anything. But you can’t do everything. You have to decide. If you don’t decide, you get nothing.
The most accurate theory is not always the most useful. And a rule of thumb can be far from true, but good enough to get you where you need to go.
Beliefs exist to guide your actions. If you’re not acting in alignment with your beliefs, you’ve missed the point of beliefs.
When someone refuses to use a tool because it’s not perfect, they’re probably not actually doing the work.
Eventually, you don’t need more information or time. You’ve found some good options. You need to decide. You need to switch from explorer to leader— to leading yourself.